All we are are memories.

since everyone’s talking about smoking and drinking and drugs and everything,

myheartbeatsliketimpanidrums:

matthewtayl0r:

i think you should just let people do whatever the hell they want and not think any less of people that do those sort of things. feel free to disagree, but it’s really douchey to hate someone just because they smoke cigarettes every now and again. 

I completely agree with that opinion. But, at the same time, it is just as wrong to judge someone because they DON’T do drugs or smoke or drink. I’m so sick of people giving me a hard time over being straight-edge. It’s not like I preach it to people, trying to convince them that they should be more like me. No, instead I’m of the mindset that everyone should do what makes them happy, as long as they don’t push their choices on others.

Why is it so hard for others to understand this?

“as long as they don’t push their choices on others.”

this is where it gets tricky for me. smoking in front of/around me, or asking me to make a change to my plans so that you can smoke or stand around on the other side of the yard while you smoke (my dad asked me to do this just yesterday and i flat-out refused. told him i’ll do something inside until he’s done), drinking while we’re out to the point of me needing to babysit you/drive your car unplanned, is sort of pushing your choice on me. not in that you’re telling me to also do it, but that it’s effecting my life, not just yours.
i don’t hate anyone just for the simple fact that they smoke or drink. but if you’re an asshole about it and blow smoke in my face or get belligerently drunk (which i’ve never actually experienced, actually), you’ll get points knocked off your cool meter for sure. also when you use drinking as a crutch and as a de-stresser, i’ll be honest: i think a little bit less of you. i think it’s really weak, and most of all dangerous. in my experience, once you’re depending on alcohol to help make you feel better when you’re stressed/upset, all the time, it becomes a problem. 
the difference between writing someone off and hating them, and how i deal with it is that i just treat it as another character trait that i’m getting to know and helping me decide how good of friends we’re going to be. it’s just something that we do or don’t have in common. to me it’s the same as your taste in movies or music or whatever else people might have in common. i have really great friends that have completely different taste in movies as i do, and i also have really great friends that drink. it doesn’t make or break a friendship. 

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my dash is dead and i’m not tired.

so i took that little number meme thing and i’m just going to answer all of them in one post.
so, here goes another “shit you don’t care about!” post.

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cemeterydreamer asked: Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple
Pink
Black
White

Do it.

I'm also going to throw in Turquoise and Burnt Sienna, just to see what you come up with.

whore.

secret: im tempted to take mariah’s route and say that if i tell you something, it wont be a secret anymore. plus i can’t really think of too many secrets that i have, you know? okay, this morning i had a dream that i wet the bed and when i woke up i really had to pee so i went and i was still like half asleep and i was afraid for a few minutes that i actually did pee on chrystle’s couch. but i didn’t. i guess the real secret part could be that i wet the bed until i was like 13. i’m old enough to where i can admit that, right? it was long enough ago? it sucked, man. the internet now knows all my secrets.
fact about appearance: my eyes were blue my entire life and would change between blue and gray/blue and greenish until about 8th or 9th grade when they started being green a lot more often and have pretty much been just green ever since.
fact about personality: i can often remember the exact moment i first thought about something. like, i was going to write this one about how i have an obsessive personality… and i remember the exact moment when i first said the words, “i kinda have an obsessive personality, i guess.” i’d never thought about it before, it had just occurred to me. in the choir room, before or after (i think after) guitar class. i said it to nadya, about the scene aesthetic.
3 things im good at: remembering names (especially spellings, if i’ve seen it written), remembering dates, singing?! lolol is that conceited to say?
love life: lolll. the last time i had a crush on a boy… REALLY had a crush on a boy, was probably senior year, and there were probably three different ones. one i couldn’t figure out if i liked him or just wanted to be better friends with him, and the other two i had liked on and off for a long time. i got really close with one, and had a really really good year because of it. i don’t remember the last time i talked to the other one. i’ve never dated anyone, and i could probably name every boy i’ve had a crush on since kindergarten. i exchanged a list once, actually, with brandon. i think he still has it. i deleted his, which makes me REALLY mad. all that blackmail, right out the window.
something about my family: my grandma was an opera singer. actually i don’t know if she sang opera. but i know she sang. i never actually talked to her about it, but my mom mentions it every once in awhile, and ive seen a newspaper clipping.
best day: for some reason, this providence popped into my head when i was thinking about this one. not a song, but like, them. and im thinking about bout damn time seattle, but before, when we got gelatto. but that might be because ive been thinking about gelatto a lot lately. i might want to pick november 10th, 2009. but also my 16th birthday party was really amazing. that was october 8th, 2005. in reality, i can’t pick this. i could make a long list, but it would be really close to just my shows list. 

i’ll give you answers but not the queestions. that you have to figure out.

turquoise: are you worth your weight in gold? ‘cause you’re behind my eyelids when i’m all alone.
burnt sienna: remembering prices, remembering tv/movie quotes if i’ve seen it less than three or four times, finishing anything but books or movies.

Fun Fact Friday

• tap dancing was my first love.
• i only like cranberry juice straight out of the pitcher or bottle.
• tonight is the first time i have ever been in a “set your goals mood” and listened to more than one or two songs in a row, alone, and of my own accord. it’s pretty awesome.
• i had harry freakin’ potter from avps stuck in my head from, like 11 or 12 today until i got on the computer and started listening to other things, like, an hour ago. it’s a sickness.